Welcome to Dr. John's Shop

Are you an emotional thermostat or a thermometer?

In other words, do you merely reflect the #emotions in the room you are in, like a thermometer? 

Or do you SET the emotional range in the room like a thermostat? 

Practice changing the emotional feel of a room by choosing gratitude. 

#Gratitude is the one emotion you can CHOOSE to experience despite what you are currently feeling. You can choose to be grateful when feeling bummed out. 

You can choose to be grateful when feeling upset. 

You can choose to be grateful when feeling stressed. 

And by choosing gratitude, you can change how you feel. 

And by changing how you feel, you can change how others in the room feel. 

Be a thermostat! #changetheroom #drjohn #emotionaliq #businesscoach #mensissues #guidetoself

Here is an interview with Dr. John Schinnerer on ways to master anxiety, his personal story of anxiety while at UC Berkeley, and much more. Welcome to the Evolved Man Master Class on stress and anxiety. 

For more info on Dr. John's revolutionary Freedom From Anxiety online video class, visit the High Performer Shop.

Dr. John Schinnerer

What if I were to tell you there are scientifically proven tools that will quickly and easily improve your relationship with your spouse? Would you be curious? 

As it happens, there are proven tools that you can learn to improve your relationship with your spouse. And this same tool, that I am going to share with you here, even works with your children and coworkers. What’s more, it’s free and simple.

This tool comes from the work of Dr. John and Julie Gottman, the world’s best researchers on marriages — what makes couples successful and what leads to divorce. 

What Do Successful Couples Do Better Than Those Heading Towards a Divorce?

Dr. Gottman wanted to learn which habits might distinguish between successful and unsuccessful couples. He followed a group of couples for 6 years. Roughly half the couples remained together while half divorced. And there was one astonishing difference between...

One of my loves has always been reading. Throughout my life, I have been an avid reader. I read a TON of books. So many people ask me what's worth reading. And it's not an easy question.

So I'm going to share with you some of the books that I've found most useful in navigating this crazy, magnificent, up and down chaos called life.

Doing a list of life-changing books isn't easy. This list isn't intended to be exhaustive. It's not perfect. But every book in here has tremendous value. Everything here is  scientifically based, grounded on time-tested notions, and/or expert insight. So without further ado, here are 8 amazing books which I've been focused on in the last year...

8 Surprising Books Which Will Make Your Life Better

The Relationship Cure by John Gottman, Ph.D.

For my money, Dr. Gottman is the world’s leading expert on relationships. For  decades, he studied what leads couples to divorce and discovered concepts such as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse...

Dr. John Schinnerer
GuideToSelf.com
WebAngerManagement.com

“I am right, damnit. I am right and she will know it before I am done.” Your energy surges. You feel powerful, justified, electric. Your mind quickly calculates every argument to defend your position and undermine hers. Blood rushes to your fists to prepare you to attack, an evolutionary by-product intended to keep your genes alive and kicking. Soon she will know you are right and will succumb to your flawless logic as you drive each point home with keen precision.

Unfortunately, you are saying a lot of things that you will regret in about 3 minutes when you calm down and review what you just said. Instead of logical arguments, you were firing off insults and character attacks. Words, that once spoken, can never be recanted. Words that will leave a psychic mark for years.

But, at least you got to vent and get that stuff that’s been bugging you for days off your chest, right?

Wrong!

Venting just makes the...

 Note: SO = significant other

Dr. John Schinnerer

How do you deal with your anger in the midst of an argument? And what happens when that no longer works? Traditional tools for managing anger include exercise, reframing, mindfulness or breathing deeply. These are classic tools to deal with anger. But what about  those situations when you just can’t get a handle on your anger? What then?

Anger is one of the most powerful feelings we have. Anger can overtake even the most emotionally aware person. When you are overcome with anger, your heart rate quickens, blood rushes to your fists to prepare you to attack and the emotional part of your brain, the limbic system, goes into high gear, making rational conversation nearly impossible.

Anger is often a secondary emotion. This means anger often follows after another emotion, such as embarrassment, anxiety or hurt. These vulnerable emotions are typically swallowed up by anger in a second, particularly in men who have been socialized over time to be slow to...

Dr. John Schinnerer was quoted in Self Magazine...

By SELF Staffers

A long, dramatic vent feels so good in the moment, but has one ever solved your problem? Why experts say these tirades are hurting you, and what to do instead.

A long, dramatic vent feels so good in the moment, but has one ever solved your problem? Why experts say these tirades are hurting you, and what to do instead.

Ten bucks says you've had at least one major blowup this week. Your morning commute was horrific or your boss set you off, so naturally you took to Facebook or Twitter to bitch about it, watching the validating likes and comments roll in.

Whatever the specifics, experts say that ranting is on the rise -- in many ways because of social media. In fact, people tweeted the hashtags #Rant and #TwitterRant 33 percent more in 2013 than they did in 2012, a recent search from Topsy Data Services found. "But using social media to have a public tantrum triggers others to join in with more negativity, which...

Dr. John Schinnerer

Kristen comes to therapy begrudgingly, stating that she has no problem with anger. She is prone to angry outbursts particularly when she feels criticized. She usually places blame on other people when things go badly. She admits she spends a good part of her day irritated at people or events in her life. When she gets upset, she yells, screams and throws things.

Most psychologists have seen their share of angry patients like Kristen. Seasoned psychologists work with angry clients as often as they work with anxious clients. Yet the majority of studies on difficult emotions have focused on depression and anxiety rather than anger and aggression.

Given this shortage of research on anger, the question remains, what is the best way to treat anger? This article will look at the most effective scientifically-proven, evidence-based treatments for reducing anger.

Diagnosing Problem Anger

Most individuals feel angry about 3-4 times per week. In a 1997 study by Howard...